Thursday, March 26, 2009

Thirsty Thursday

Tuesday was my friend Kristin's birthday. We decieded Thursday that we would go have ONE drink for her "yeah I'm 28" mark. 5pm rolled around and we made our way to the Stoneleigh P. It was right by work and something easy. I decieded to drive so we could take one car. On Monday I was behind Kristin as she left work and heard her peal out at one turn and then jumped the curb on the next. Whoa! I have to admit that I laughed when she did that. Anywho, we found a table on the patio and settled in. It wasn't long before we started really looking at our surroundings.

The lady in the window rested her chin on her hand and was drinking in every word that the gentlemen across from her said. Kristin and I made up our own ideas of who they were and what they were talking about. His hands streched out as if he were describing a fish he had caught last Saturday and we bursted out in laughter as the lady continued to gaze in amazment. Oh' that was funny. I then was in the middle of some long story when I felt like someone was really close behind me. I could see Kristin looking a little distracted by something over my right shoulder. I casually turned to look and BAM! I kid you not. There was an older gentlemen sitting literally inches from my back. We made a L with our shoulder blades. The WHOLE patio was empty at this time but nooooooo, he wanted right by me. Aw. I felt like he was an FBI agent and we both were very aware of our conversation. Then after a restroom break Kristin came back with a humours story about the steel clade door that she went to push open only to smash her face into when it didn't move. Of course this was followed by me 30 mins later doing the exact same thing since I forgot and then trying to hold in my giggles as I entered the restroom. Who laughs to themselves in a public restroom?? me.

There then was the weirdo who kept circling our table with a Chick-fil-A cup randomly talking to either someone on his phone or to himself. It was odd. We just kind of ignored him.

Three glasses of wine later for me, two for Durbs, the evening was topped off with my outburst that caught the attention of a random guy walking by. I don't even remember what we were doing but I know we were on a tanget about something that was silly. I leaned forward in my best old man impression I said, "I'm a Perv!" It came out louder than I meant and the the guy walking by turned to look at me. Right away I raise my hands and say, "oh' no! not me!! I was just saying that. I'm not a perv!" ugggggggghhh. That was something he won't forget. The girl at the Stoneleigh who said to her other female friend in a creepy voice that she was a perv.

That was our que to leave. We got the tab and as we left the patio we noticed a kitty cat walking the fence. Again we discussed what it was doing/thinking. It stopped and licked his paw, "oh ow! that hurt" he stepped on something. Then he kept walking. We decieded that we need to do this more often. It's just a matter of figureing out how and when.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Friends Episode

It is probablly a good thing I don't have a laundry shoot in my house. However the possiblities of things I would drop down it are endless. Besides the obvious, you know I would put Ashe down there at least ONCE just for fun. Last night had I had one, I would have wrapped up my fire alarm in a towel and dropped it. Just like Pheobe did in Friends.

I was asleep, finally. A "beep" woke me up. I didn't jolt up, I just opened my eyes and laid there. Ashe didn't move so I wasn't sure if I really heard a noise or not. I was pushing back the thougth that is was my security alarm notifying me that someone was about to kill me. Just when I thought I made it up, I heard it again. BEEP. It was my fire alarm. The battery was dying. Blast. Of all the times. Picking up my phone I checked the time, 12:36am. Ok, Ok, I still have time to sleep. I get out of bed and go stand in the hallway. The bad thing about fire alarms is they are like silent buggers. They make a short beep and then are silent again. Standing in the hall I have one right above me, one to my left in the guest bedroom and one to my right in my bedroom. One would think it would be easy to figure out the beep but oh no. No My Friends. It was difficult.

I ended up taking all 3 off the wall, laying them down on the bed and staring at them. Waiting for them to make a noise. It was like that game at the fair where the little gophers pop out of a hole for you to hit them. I was doing that, but with my ear. Ha! just thought of me slamming my head on them. I didn't do that. I did however figure out the problem alarm. And of course I couldn't figure out how to open the battery thingy. So, I put it between 2 towels. Nope. Could still hear it. I wrestled with the back and finally got the battery out. I then remembered the Friends episode where Pheobe can't get it to stop beeping so she puts in the shoot. I instead, to be on the safe side, wrapped it up in some sheets and put in it my closet.

Seemed to do the trick. I slept well enough to oversleep this morning and lose my parking spot at work. :(

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Reality Show?

I want a TV crew to follow me around and record my adventures so I can watch them the next day. I personally would TiVo my show.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Lifetime Channel Visits Josephine St.

It hasn't rained in months here in Dallas. Today was the day it rained. I came home from work and dashed from my garage to my house. When I got inside I deceided I was going to be very productive. I first started by unloading the dishwasher. I was happy with my movement. I pulled out some frozen chicken tenders (unbreaded) and placed them on a plate to defrost.

I then started loading the dishwasher with the items in the sink. Lala Laaaala. Happy Wednesday, or is it Tuesday?! I reach under the sink to get the detergant and turn to the door on the dishwasher that is laying open like a mouth at the dentist. And there it is.....the nice little tiny detergant door all sealed up clutching the contents of last nights detergant that I placed there. Waiting. Waiting to be released and scrub at the dishes. The dishes that I JUST unloaded and put away in my cabinets, drawers, cupboards. I opened the trap door and the detergrant said hello with a snide glitter. I stood up and glared back at the goo. Without saying a word I turned around looked at my cabinets, drawers, and cupboards. I knew what lurked behind those wooden shields. I knew what I had just done. I did the only thing someone like me that had a work day like me would do. I put the detergant box back under the sink, left the trap door open with last nights goo still hanging out and shut the door. Pressed the pots/pans, high pressure, sanitize, heat dry buttons and walked out of the kitchen.

I then had the pleasure of hearing dripping water. I looked to my left and the spot that Pedro fixed last September was spitting water down onto the floor. Walking over I reach out my hand. I thought that maybe I was seeing things. Nope...water. I call Pedro and tell him I need him to come fix this once the rain stops. He says he will, yadda, yadda, blah, blah. We are off the phone. I don't feel satisfied that this is something he cares about. As I walked to the living room I remembered the house across the street was remolding. Peaking out the front window I see the white van still stationed. Yeah! I grab my umbrella and make my way towards the black hooded man digging in the back. "Excuse me." I say. "I need your help, do you fix leaks?" He turns around and gives me the up and down. "yes" is all he says. "can you come look at my problem?" He smiles...not creepy smile...more like sympathtic smile. We make our way to my house. He takes one look at my issue and speaks broken English about getting plastic out of the van.

Thoughts of the fact that there is a strange man in my house doesn't really cross my mind. We go upstairs to the balcony and he ask for a hammer and nails. Like a good person who watches horror movies all the time, I hand over my death weapons and stand with my back to him as he lays down plastic. All of this I think of AFTER he has done. I told my co-worker Kristin today that I wanted a Lifetime Dramatic Death....I almost had one!! Alas, he lays down the plastic on the floor to stop the leaking vs my face and we head back downstairs. We both stand there staring at the drip, watching it get less and less. Which is good! Yeah! He ask my name, "Sarah" I say. "And yours?" "Salvador" We go back to staring at water. It wasn't long before we are talking about our jobs, etc. I used the word Awesome in a sentence and he feels comfortable enough to ask me what that means. I don't want to laugh so I just smile and say, "very good". Soon after that I say the word Crap and same thing. "What is crap?" At this point I'm thinking to myself how much slang I use and how little he must understand what I'm saying. Without thinking of anything better to say I reply with, "it's another word for Shit. Not good" He laughs and I can tell he is a little embarrased that he basiclly just asked me what Shit means.

It was after that he asked if I lived alone. Again without thinking I say yes and he goes on about how he has worked on several houses on this street and a lot of people live alone here. He is surprised that we don't all have roommates. I don't really know what to say so I just say, "eh" and smile. The dripping seem to slow so we start talking about when it stops raining what needs to be done, when, etc. I expressed in a round about way I want it fixed but don't want to spend a lot. Say how this is the worst timing, which isn't a lie...it really is. My Mexico fund is slowing going away. He then ask me if I have a boyfriend. This time I think! I cock my head to the side and say yes. (liar liar pants on fire!) He then says that I should have him pay for it. I laugh on the outside, but am cursing myself on the inside. Which is better? To have Salvador think I live alone and single? or have Salvador think I live alone but have some male around? I later deciede that the later is safer. My alarm system is Fort Knox, but I'm not taking any risk. I hope my chances of a good repair deal aren't foiled b/c of some imaginary boyfriend that I need to remember I have.

So. Here I sit. In my livingroom. Salvador's van is still in front of my house. If something happens to me, his card is hidden under the cookie jar on top of the fridge...just incase. And if they DO make a Lifetime movie out of this, let it be known that I would like Tracey Gold to play me. Thank you.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

This Mad Me Really Upset! (warning, what you read is not nice)

PLANO - Concern spread through a Plano neighborhood after a homeowner opened his mailbox Sunday to find a neighbor's dead cat inside.
Merilynne Boydston's cat had been cut in half.
"Someone deliberately tortured my cat by cutting her in half," she said.
The neighbor who found the cat said he was sickened by the discovery.
"I opened it and quickly shut it back because I've never seen anything like that before," said the neighbor, who did not want to be identified.
Over the past ten years, Plano police said they have never seen such a case in the neighborhood off Arbor Downs and Alma drives. Instead, they have only received calls about vandalisms and break-ins.
Now, Boydston said she worries something similar could happen down the line.
"She didn't do anything wrong," she said of her cat.
Animal control officers say cases like this are rare; and catching the culprit is even rarer. Detectives have little to go on and are hoping a witness will come forward.

Monday, March 9, 2009

Cutey Pa-Tutey

This is Eli. He is 4.
He has my heart when he jumps out of the car and says, "Sarah" while running towards me.

Monday, March 2, 2009

Cat Crumbs?

So I had leftover frozen pizza from this weekend that I figured I would eat it. It just kind of sat there on my plate as I played on the internet. Ashe came and sat right on my chest. He is the type of cat that if you are reading the newspaper he will hear you, wake up from another room and come sit right on the article you are reading. When your eyes shift to another article...so will he. I move my laptop so I can type and see, sheesh.

Well I didn't want to move him 'cause he was all cute and fuzzy warm. But I wanted a bite of my pizza..and another...and another. I ate the whole piece of pizza, no...not the WHOLE pizza it self. Remember it was leftovers. When I was finished I looked down and poor little Ashe had pizza crumbs on his head and whiskers. Oh' I'm so sorry buddy! I made my cat into a napkin!!! What is wrong with me??

I brushed him off only to actually wake him. The only thing left to do is to go ahead and have a tag-a-long.