When Feathers Fly, That's a Sign

Friday after work I had a long standing date with my friend Kristin. For over a month now we have been talking about watching Saw V at her cave of a living room, with the lights off and some wine. Due to the fact that we are both uber popular in this world it has been hard to find a night that worked for both of us. FINALLY we got it. After cleaning up my cats throw up and poo....he is sick, poor guy...I got in my Jeep and started north on 75. Around the Mockingbird mark I noticed a bird not flying so well. It flew very low across 75 and then looped arounded. As it looped back it took a dive. Right towards my windshield. There was nothing I could do. I had no where to go. So 70mph I let the suicidal bird end its life on the upper middle part of my windsheild. It made a nasty sound and luckly for me on many levels it missed the crack that runs from top to bottom in front of the drivers side. I gripped the steering wheel, closed my eyes, and turned my head to the left as it hit and bounced over the top. Unfortunately from past experiences I knew not to look in the rearview mirror to watch the body fall down. I started to glance out of instinct and saw a cloud of feathers. I quickly looked back at the road ahead of me and burst into tears.

I couldn't help it! I just killed a bird. I called my mom and she calmed me down and made me laugh, as always. She explained to me that it wasn't my fault. I didn't go out of my way to hit the bird and there was nothing I could do. And although I knew what she meant the words "God had that bird fly like that" really made me laugh after I got off the phone. I know she didn't mean that God has a little remote control with the animals and he was dive bombing my car, but it was funny. I still had about 15 more mins until I got to Kristin's so I was fine once I got there. However, when I rang the doorbell her husband yelled out, "Go Away!!!" I just love that family. Thank goodness Krisitn opened the door. Whew!

We decieded to order Chinese food. Just short of a coin toss, Kristin was the one who had call to place the order. For anyone who has ever called an Chinese place to order food they know how tasking that can be. I watched her face as she focused on the words spilling into her ear on the other side. Got the meals ordered and then she asked what drinks they had. I could tell a state of confusion was happing. She was lost and then she lite up, "Coke!! yes Coke!". That was the only thing she could understand. She wasn't sure if it was diet or what, but Coke was the only thing she understood and crossed our fingers that it really as what we were getting. A glass of wine later the food had arrived...it was Coke. yes. We start setting the table and talking.

Did you know that you can stab someone with a fork? You wouldn't think that something you put in your mouth for all food could draw blood but it can. Kristin extends her hand with the fork to hand it to me and in return I extend mine to retrieve it. The worlds were inline or something because at that exact moment with our casual reaching the tip of the fork sunk it's prong into my finger. It wasn't even a jab, it was so weak but something about our timing. It hurt like heck and Kristin pulled back in shock. We both were confused on what just happened. On my side my finger was throbbing. On her side she was disgusted as she felt it hit my finger and shake. with one hand around my finger I told her I was fine. She made the comment, "I just bloodied your hand, I need to get you a new fork". I said, "no you didn't!! it's not like I'm bleeding!!!" I opened my hand and OMG - there was blood in my hand and dripping from my finger. She Stabbed Me!

I went to wash it off and she went in search of a spiderman band-aid. We examined it and it didn't look like I need staples and I could keep my finger. Physical therapy....maybe. Too soon to tell. We got past the "accident" and went on to eat. Now Kristin loves soy sauce, I'm talking SOY SAUCE. She was holding an egg roll up, half eaten and pouring soy sauce inside. I don't even remembered what she said right before she took a bite, but we were having a serious conversation. In my head it is still slow motion. She took a bite and as she bit down a sea of black soy sauce EXPLODED all up the right side of her face. I'm not talking about like when you are eating a taco or burrito and things ooze out the end/side. It was like she bit an octopus! That is the only why I can describe it. It was so much soy and so black and so everywhere. Shot UP the side of her face and into her eye. I was in silent laughter right away. I didn't even laugh outloud. I was crying, and shaking. Krisitn had no idea what happened and was trying figure out what was on her face. She was startled of course and was rubbing her face with a napkin. half of the egg roll was still dangling out of her mouth. Soy sauce was on the table, face, eye, hair, plate, everywhere. Oh' I can still see it!!!

For the rest of the night in the middle of Saw V one of us would remember the stabbing or the soy attack and just start laughing, which in turn made the other laugh. Pretty sure we stopped and rewinded Saw V and Skeleton Key about 10 times b/c we missed stuff. Oh' and the sound! the sound the egg roll made when she bit down on it, I can still hear it. hahahhaha, Kristin described it as a hot black sea of soy coming towards her eye. That is all she remembers of the incident. Her face still hurts. LOL - hot black sea of soy.